Spectator Sport
by Animom
Summary: Kaiba goes to Room 7 before the BattleShip duels start to lay down the law about use of the Millennium Rod. His motives, however, are less than pure. ** Crackfic that could be considered either Personashipping (Rishid/Kaiba) or Powershipping (Marik/Kaiba). ** First posted October 2003 at Kyoku Geemu.


Yu-Gi-Oh is the intellectual property of Kazuki Takahashi and Konami, and is being used in this fanfiction for fan purposes only. No infringement or disrespect is intended by this fanfiction.

Description: Kaiba goes to Room 7 before the BattleShip duels start to lay down the law about use of the Millennium Rod. His motives, however, are less than pure.** Crackfic that could be considered either Personashipping or Dangershipping. First posted October 2003.

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So let's assume, for the purpose of the story, that the finals didn't start _right_ away, shall we?

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**Spectator Sport**

_by Animom_**  
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"I'll probably be back shortly," Seto said to Mokuba as he stepped out into the hall, "I'm sure this will be a waste of time."

"Why are you going then?"

"I don't like loose ends. While I'm gone, go down and double check the arrangements for the banquet we foolishly decided to lay out for these pigs."

"Gotcha, big brother."

Kaiba walked swiftly down the hall toward Room 7, smirking as he passed the party in Room 2. _Typical_.

Actually, what motivated him was several levels of curiosity. Mutou said that this so-called "Millennium Rod" had the power to control minds. Of course that was bullshit: he suspected that the real power was giving a person guilt-free permission to act out their darkest fantasies.

On the other hand, in the very unlikely event that this Rod _did_ have real power, then its use during the tournament needed to be prevented before it could be used against _him_ - although he of course had willpower and mental defenses far beyond his peers, so this "Rod" was unlikely to be any sort of threat to him at all. Further, if it did have power, then he must acquire it, at any cost - the applications to business and dueling alone were invaluable, not to mention its application to other, more personal activities ...

Room 7. He knocked. After a muffled "Just a moment please," and a wait of a minute or two, the door opened.

Close up, Marik's appearance was a bit startling - the pale green eyes glowing in the tanned face and the ornate scars covering the left side of his face suggested someone far removed from an ordinary human. "Mr. Kaiba," he said with a slight bow. "What can I do for you?"

Kaiba said aggressively, "You need to answer some questions. About the so-called Millennium Rod you possess."

"Of course," Marik said smoothly. "Please come in."

Kaiba entered the room warily. _Well, so this is the mastermind behind the Rare Hunters_, he thought. _He certainly looks the part of a criminal genius, but he's no match for me. Still, I've got to keep on my toes: if he thinks I'm a threat to his operation he could attack at any time. He's likely to have concealed weapons, and tossing my body over the side of the ship would handily disguise any signs of violence._

"Please have a seat," Marik said, indicating a chair.

"I prefer to stand." _Never sit where your enemy suggests._

"As you wish." Marik went to the sink. "May I offer you a refreshment?"

"No," Kaiba said coldly, "this isn't a social call. I'm only here to examine the Rod. "

'As you wish." Marik went to the low table, lifted a cloth bundle, and unwrapped it reverently. He walked to Kaiba and held it out the Millennium Rod to him with both hands. "What exactly are you looking for, if I may ask?"

"To see if this item has any attributes that will give you an unfair advantage while you duel."

"And if it does?" Marik's eyes flashed angrily, but his voice remained low and non-threatening.

"Then its use during the tournament will be banned."

"I see. I assume it won't suffice if I say that the Rod cannot be used to unfairly influence the outcome of a duel?"

"No, your word means nothing to me, although at any rate I seriously doubt this fancy prop has any mystical powers at all - but I do like to have empirical evidence." He weighed the Rod in his hand. "It's much lighter than I would have expected. Feels more like a child's toy."

"Well, you are free to test it on me if you like."

"And how exactly would I do that?"

"As you're holding the Rod, visualize clearly what you want me to do." Marik paused then added, "You may experience some disorientation the first few times you use the Rod, as it attunes itself to your brain waves."

Kaiba snorted. "A handy explanation - if it doesn't work, the excuse will be that I wasn't attuned enough?"

"Of course." Marik smiled: his teeth looked as though they could crack bone.

"Convenient." _Alright. First off, check for concealed weapons._

Feeling somewhat foolish, he pointed the Rod at Marik, and visualized Marik removing his heavy purple robe. After a moment, a tingle went up his arm, his vision blacked out, and his whole body (including his face) went numb.

After what seemed like only a moment his sight came back, spots dancing at the corners of this vision. Marik's robe was draped across the chair. The Egyptian stood barefoot, shirtless, with tight-fitting dark blue trousers. No weapons, unless you count the powerfully-muscled chest and arms.

_Interesting,_ Kaiba thought. "You don't mind a second test?"

"Not at all," Marik said with a low rumble.

After all, removing a robe was nothing; what Kaiba had in mind for the Rod was to command people to do things that went against their principles and self-interest. Perhaps even their inhibitions. Gripping the Rod again, he thought CARTWHEELS.

When his senses returned he grinned to see Marik executing perfect cartwheels around and around the room, his black pigtail swinging like a crank around the back of his head.

"If you don't succeed at dueling, Marik," he said scathingly, "You might want to consider a career as an acrobat."

"Can I stop now, Master?" Marik asked, slightly breathless.

"Of course," Seto said absently, staring down at the Rod in excitement. _Incredible! it really works! With this - contract negotiations will go faster, I can force my opponents to make the stupidest moves possible while dueling ... and in private .._.

He got lost for a minute thinking of what he could force the objects of his desire to do (missing the intent look on Marik's face), and in his enthusiasm he gripped the Rod so tightly that he was swallowed up in the black again ...

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_Some Time Later ..._

The Millennium Rod glinted on the low table. Reflected in its curved surface was the tall green-eyed Egyptian who all the duelists save one would know as "Marik" for some time yet, efficiently stripping the sheets from his bed.

The one duelist who _did_ know his true name emerged from the closet, also holding a Millennium Rod – the _real_ one. "How was it?" he asked, his expression equally avid and scornful.

Rishid paused, staring down at the sheets in his hands. "I did not ask – " he began, then, after a pause, "Thank you Master," he said, formally. "It's been a long time since I had such a satisfying physical release."

"And from the sound of it, our host should be thanking me as well," Marik said a smirk.

"He won't remember?" Rishid asked, looking at the door.

"No, of course not. He wasn't even aware that he was under control of the _real_ Rod all the time, obediently telling us what he was thinking. Ironic, isn't it, that the master became the dog? Serves him right, the pompous, greedy fool."

Rishid bowed. "I would like to bathe before the banquet starts, Master."

"Of course." Marik waved his hand. "Who says I don't take care of my employees?"

~ _The end _~

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**Author's Plea**

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Please don't give away the ending when you review? Please?

Thank you to **Pan** for verifying room numbers, and **Jacq** for a bit o' Malik-tweakage.

Sparked by **Dawnshadow**'s "Unlikely Fic Pairings" challenge on Kyokou Geemu in October 2003, in which names were drawn out of a hat. When I got this one, I fled in terror ... but not before an idea got lodged in my brain...

When I found this again today I discovered that this particular crack pairing seems never to have been named on any of the Big Lists that I checked!

I've submitted a note to this effect to the ship list on  
Deviant Art as well as the shippers_club/ community on LJ.  
suggesting it be called " Personashipping" for the following reasons:

- persona means "mask"  
- Rishid pretends to be Malik for quite a while  
- Kaiba's public persona ... well, ok, he seems to wear that arrogant  
"Ore-Sama" mask 24x7. But he loves Mokuba! :p

If the name sticks, I'll be thrilled.

**Silver Dragon Golden Dragon has written a sequel to this story: "Good Sportsmanship" **found here at ffnet: http: /www. fanfiction. net/s/5822920/1/Good_Sportsmanship

_2003.10.03 challenge  
(09) 2010.10.05 GDSG link  
_


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